Identify the issue
Common Concerns: Balance
- Learn about the issues you may face related to balancing academic work and family as a graduate woman in STEM.
- Learn to maximize your personal control over these common challenges.
“My relationship with my partner has become strained since I started working on my dissertation. I get home from the lab late at night and have to go in on most weekends.”
“I am worried that my partner won’t be able to leave her job and follow me if I get a post-doc in a different city. I don’t know how much more our relationship can handle all of this.”
“I am a single parent with a 3-year-old. The daycare closes every night at 7 p.m., so sometimes I have to ask others to take over in the lab. My advisor recently mentioned to me that he was starting to doubt my commitment. Apparently putting my child in daycare 12 hours a day is not showing enough commitment.”
Can You Relate to These Women's Experiences?
If you feel like you might have to choose between a career in science and a personal life, you are not alone. As you know, graduate school can be all-consuming, and the long work hours don’t end once you receive your PhD. Finding a balance between career and personal responsibilities can be a challenge for all graduate students. In the CareerWISE Coach, we are especially attuned to the gender issues related to finding a balance between academic work and personal life.
Women report significantly less satisfaction than men with their department’s support for their efforts to better balance various commitments. Family responsibilities, and the assumption that women will have families, are known to impact women’s careers more than men’s careers (Etzkowitz et al., 2000; Kachaf, et al., 2015).
- Female doctoral student parents report spending more time on childcare and household responsibilities than male doctoral student parents (Mason & Goulden, 2006).
- Female doctoral students who finish their degrees late are more likely than early-finishers to report that child-care responsibilities showed them down (36% compared to 10%) (Maher, Ford, & Thompson, 2004).
- Many faculty expect women to wait until after they graduate to have children. Perhaps as a consequence, students who become pregnant are often afraid to share this news with their advisors.
- Even women without children might face a common stereotype that they are less committed to a career in science because it is assumed they will one day make family responsibilities a priority.
- If married, women in the science and engineering fields are more likely than men to be married to someone in the same field with an equally demanding career. As a result, women are less likely to have a partner who is available to help with non-work related responsibilities.
- Women’s career mobility declines once they marry, more so than for men.
- Due to gender stereotypes, women are presumed to not meet the “ideal worker” standard, which requires unlimited availability and commitment.
- Many girls and women decide against pursuing a career in STEM due to the perception that this career path does not provide sufficient flexibility for women with families.
- Women graduate students turn away from career aspirations in academic research for partner and family reasons.
- For women across academic disciplines (but not as much for men), a successful academic career often means having to make difficult choices about family.
But I don’t have a family now
If you are single right now and without children (and are not planning to have children), you might be wondering how these stats relate to you. Issues with imbalance go beyond partners and children. You may be worrying about how to carve out time to visit your parents or make enough time to care for a sick relative, travel to a friend’s celebration, or even take care of your home and personal errands.
The reality is that gender stereotypes are ubiquitous regardless of whether they fit, now or in the future. Women generally experience more difficulty with balancing work and personal life for two reasons: One, women continue to be viewed as disproportionately responsible for dependent care and domestic tasks. Two, women frequently feel the need to overwork to prove themselves in their settings.
Your experience will depend on many different factors in your environment, plus your unique perceptions and coping styles. The information and skill-building content found within the CareerWISE Coach is designed to help you maximize your personal control over balance issues and other common graduate school challenges.
Self-test
Which of the following best illustrates an issue related to balance for women in STEM programs
A female student neglects social activities outside of school in favor of spending more time conducting research, in order to “stay ahead.”?
- A. A female student neglects social activities outside of school in favor of spending more time conducting research, in order to “stay ahead.”
- B. A female student feels like she has to spend extra time preparing for an upcoming examination in one of her classes.
- C. A female student is concerned about what her advisor thinks about her proposal, and she is concerned that she hasn’t been devoting enough effort to it.
- D. Test
- E. Test 2
Long hours and work-life imbalance are correlated with serious physical and mental health issues (Virtanen & Kivimäki, 2018; Vogel et al., 2012):
- Extended workdays (more than 50 hours/week) are associated with cardiovascular disease.
- As the workday increases from 8 up to 16 hours, there is an exponential increase in accidents.
- Deteriorating performance on psycho-physiological tests and injuries are associated with longwork periods.
- Graduate students are more than six times as likely as the general population to experience depression and anxiety (Evans, et al., 2018). Learn more in the Mental Health and Wellness module.
- What you can do about it
While it often seems impossible to find adequate balance, health and career experts offer the following suggestions:
- Let go of perfectionism. The key to avoid burning out is to let go of perfectionism in graduate school. Differentiate between what is important (e.g., learning, productivity, networks) and what is less so (course grades). Find more information in Set Priorities.
- Always keep your long-term goals in mind. This will help keep you motivated and able to decide on priorities at any given time.
- Seek support from your partner. A partner who is supportive of your career and willing to share family responsibilities is equally, if not more, important than a supportive mentor.
- Search out role models. Women in STEM who are mothers and dual-career couples who have been successful in STEM and at family formation can be valuable role models and mentors.
- Take advantage of family-friendly policies. Review the institutional policies and practices that may promote your career when interviewing and considering whether to accept a position in a particular laboratory or institution. Learn more in the Family Friendly Policies module.
- Focus on the joys. Enjoy time with family and friends who bring richness to your life.
- Unplug. Realize there are times when you have to shut off your laptop or phone and be in the moment.
- Exercise and Meditate. Exercise and meditation are effective stress reducers.
- Limit time-wasting activities and people. Try to avoid or limit the many tempting distractions that are not productive or supportive.
- Remember that you are only one person. Delegate or outsource as many non-academic responsibilities as possible.
While finding balance is likely a challenge you will experience during your doctoral journey, the good news is that balance is possible! The first steps are to recognize the challenge and create accountability structures where they may be lacking.
Bernstein, B. L., & Russo, N. F. (2007). Career paths and family in the academy: Progress and challenges. In M. A. Paludi & P. E. Neidermeyer (Eds.) Work, life, and family imbalance: How to level the playing field. [pp. 89-119] Westport, CN: Praeger Press.
Brus, C.P. (2006), Seeking balance in graduate school: A realistic expectation or a dangerous dilemma? New Directions for Student Services, 115, 31-45. https://doi.org/10.1002/ss.214
Dabney, K. P., & Tai, R. H. (2013). Female physicist doctoral experiences. Physical Review Special Topics-Physics Education Research, 9(1), 010115. https://doi.org/10.1103/physrevstper.9.010115
Espinoza, R. (2010). The good daughter dilemma: Latinas managing family and school demands. Journal of Hispanic Higher Education, 9(4), 317–330. https://doi.org/10.1177/1538192710380919
Evans, T. M., Bira, L., Gastelum, J. B., Weiss, L. T., & Vanderford, N. L. (2018). Evidence for a mental health crisis in graduate education. Nature Biotechnology, 36(3), 282–284. https://doi.org/10.1038/nbt.4089
Goulden, M., Mason, M. A., & Frasch, K. (2011). Keeping women in the science pipeline. The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 638(1), 141-162. https://doi.org/10.1177/0002716211416925
Kachchaf, R., Ko, L., Hodari, A., & Ong, M. (2015). Career-life balance for women of color: experiences in science and engineering academia. Journal of Diversity in Higher Education, 8(3), 175–191. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0039068
Kivimäki, M., & Kawachi, I. (2015). Work stress as a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Current Cardiology Reports, 17(9), 1-9. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11886-015-0630-8
Maher, M. A., Ford, M. E., & Thompson, C. M. (2004). Degree progress of women doctoral students: Factors that constrain, facilitate, and differentiate. The Review of Higher Education, 27(3), 385-408. https://doi.org/10.1353/rhe.2004.0003
Mason, M., & Goulden, M. (2002). Do babies matter? The effect of family formation on the lifelong careers of academic men and women. Academe, 88(6), 21-27. https://doi.org/10.2307/40252436
Rockinson-Szapkiw, A. J. (2019). Toward understanding factors salient to doctoral students' persistence: The development and preliminary validation of the Doctoral Academic-Family Integration Inventory. International Journal of Doctoral Studies, 14(1), 237-258. https://doi.org/10.28945/4248
Tan-Wilson, A., & Stamp, N. (2015). College students’ views of work-life balance in STEM research careers: Addressing negative preconceptions. CBE Life Sciences Education, 14(3), es5–. https://doi.org/10.1187/cbe.14-11-0210
Thoman, S. E., Stephens, A. K., & Robnett, R. D. (2021). “Squeezing the life out of each day”: Emerging adult women’s work-family expectations in STEM. Emerging Adulthood. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167696821990910
Virtanen, M., & Kivimäki, M. (2018). Long working hours and risk of cardiovascular disease. Current Cardiology Reports, 20(11), 1-7. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11886-018-1049-9
Vogel, M., Braungardt, T., Meyer, W. et al. (2012). The effects of shift work on physical and mental health. Journal of Neural Transmission,119, 1121–1132. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00702-012-0800-4
Ward, K., & Wolf-Wendel, L. (2012). Academic motherhood: How faculty manage work and family. Rutgers University Press.
Wilkins-Yel, K. G., Bekki, J.M., Arnold, A.C., Bernstein, B. L., Coley, C.E., Natarajan, M. W., & Randall, A.K. (2021). Understanding the impact of personal challenges and advisor support on STEM persistence among graduate women of color. Journal of Diversity in Higher Education. Advance online publication.. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/dhe000023
Getting Married During Graduate School
The decision to get married in graduate school
Special Characteristics of Your Advisor and Struggling with Life Balance Issues
Advisor's experiences encourage well-informed career decisions
Looking Back on Raising Kids While Working
Explains the role children play in career choices
Words of Wisdom: Dr. Rosser
The importance of remaining passionate and remembering that the PhD opens doors
I Get By with a Little Help from My Mother in Law
The importance of a supportive extended family in helping to balance school and children
Sources of Support
The importance of a supportive network of colleagues
Changing the System vs. Focusing on Cultural Barriers for Women
Suggestions for how to increase women's participation in science with an emphasis on policy change
The Upside to Children Prior to a Tenure Track Position
Explains the choice to have children in graduate school
Words of Wisdom: Dr. Lin
How to seek support and not be shy in asking for help
Two Different Worlds: School Without Kids and Working with Kids
Being married in graduate school and having children as a faculty member
Explains that satisfaction comes from working with students and the opportunity to make new disco
Explains that satisfaction comes from working with students and the opportunity to make new disco
The importance of learning from mistakes and persisting despite setbacks.
The importance of learning from your effort, regardless of the outcome.
Advice on how to seek out support in graduate school and how to bounce back from setbacks.
Shares the excitement that comes from collaborating with others to make new discoveries.
Elaborates on the standard practice of science despite cultural differences.
Strategies for negotiating as a faculty member.
When it's time to graduate and when it's important to start learning on the job.
Highlights the transition into graduate level science where the answers aren't known.
The importance of goal setting and using others' experiences to make strong choices about your own p
Advice for balancing research and fun in graduate school.
Advice for students: stay focused, ask questions, and remain open-minded when working with others.
How to adapt experimental methods to match a lifestyle.
How to negotiate a schedule for raising a family and overcoming setbacks in a new career.
The importance of giving yourself credit and remembering why you are doing what you're doing.
The importance of peer relationships and the learning process that takes place despite concrete outc
Working with graduate students is a rewarding aspect of being a faculty member.
Advice for graduate students on how to maintain their confidence, courage, and dignity.
Emphasizes peer relationships and departmental climate.
How to handle being accused of having an affair with the advisor.
Explains an interdisciplinary branch of physics and the passion for research, service, and teaching.
Teaching as the impetus for work.
Discusses necessary precautions to take as a female student working late nights on campus.
Discusses necessary precautions to take as a female student working late nights on campus.
Being accused of cheating and regrets about not being more assertive.
Being accused of cheating and regrets about not being more assertive.
The importance of self-authorship and using graduate school as a process for self-definition.
Reminder that support can be found in unexpected places.
Urges female graduate students to persist in the field of mathematics because the field needs divers
How being unaware of being the only woman was advantageous to program success.
Alternatives to departmental isolation and the importance of networking.
Environmental issues faced in academia.
The importance of first impressions in choosing a graduate program.
Satisfaction comes from interacting with intelligent people across cultures.
Adjusting physical appearance to fit in with peers.
The importance of remembering that graduate school is only one part of a larger career.
Describes an incident of receiving a lower grade than a man for similar work.
The opportunity for freedom, growth, and collaboration as a faculty member.
How to survive the aftermath of a sexual harassment incident.
Highlights the gendered assumptions encountered as a faculty member.
The Importance of Having Positive Working Relationships: A Case Study
An alternative way to approach being the only woman in a given situation.
Contributions to the field are reflected through choices.
The importance of sharing stories of sexual harassment with others to gain support.
The importance of finding the right advisor to support your research goals.
How to handle being accused of having an affair with the advisor.
Explains when to confront a problem and when it may be better to maneuver around it.
How to be upfront, direct, and assertive when confronting instances of sexual harassment.
Highlights the universal customs of science.
Class performance builds confidence to remain in program.
Captures the annoyance of male colleagues making sexist assumptions and the challenges with conferen
The importance of recognizing the progress that has been made by women in science fields.
Advice for accomplishing your academic goals without making unnecessary compromises.
Emphasizes the challenge with saying no, but the importance of learning to do so.
How to make friends with colleagues to encourage a supportive environment.
Underscores the challenges that come from being the only woman in an academic department and gives s
Highlights an experience in which peers were not only colleagues, but also friends.
How the physical space in a laboratory allowed for collaboration among colleagues.
The importance of a good leader in setting standards for diversity, climate, and tenure policies.
How to observe others' reactions to subtle comments in order to gauge an appropriate response.
Urges students not to get wrapped into issues that do not directly involve them.
Departmental reactions to the choice to have children.
How to refute sexist comments and challenge gendered assumptions.
The importance of sharing stories of sexual harassment with others and realizing that you are not al
Confronting a male colleague with contradictory findings at a conference.
How colleagues can assist in making the transition into graduate life easier by sharing information
Captures the small but noticeable annoyances that come with being the only woman.
The importance of picking your battles to avoid unfair labeling.
Reminder that it is not necessary to feel comfortable socially to do good science.
Gender stereotypes faced in getting into graduate school and conducting research.
How to seek support from administrators outside the department when dealing with departmental sexism
The first realization that being a woman in science was outside the norm.
Challenges of being international and female, particularly with regards to an academic career and th
Suggestions for how to deal with sexist comments.
Playing a variety of roles as the only woman in the department.
The process of establishing yourself in the same department as your spouse.
Emphasizes positive peer relationships within her cohort.
The challenges of working in male-dominated academic environments and the negative stereotypes assoc
The feasibility of pursuing a family and science.
The importance of hearing other people's stories.
The importance of understanding priorities and allocating resources accordingly.
Advises how to keep family informed about research goals and progression from student to faculty mem
Explains some of the setbacks in dating relationships.
Advises students to continue to pursue their education because the payoff is self-respect.
The importance of believing in yourself, admitting your mistakes, and continuing to do what you love
How to accept non-traditional relationships and lifestyles in academia.
Notes the challenges of a dual career marriage and the obstacles in fighting for tenure and balancin
The process of overcoming setbacks related to career options and personal relationships.
How to balance motherhood responsibilities in graduate school.
The importance of supportive peer relationships.
Being married in graduate school and having children as a faculty member.
Advisor's experiences encourage well-informed career decisions.
The importance of a supportive network of colleagues.
Doing something useful to make a difference and how to appreciate a happy, supportive work environme
Taking time off before pursuing her PhD.
How a supportive department and a modified teaching schedule allowed for maternity leave.
How to sustain taking time off and pursuing the PhD later in life.
Advises how to keep family informed about research goals and progression from student to faculty mem
The importance of a supportive extended family in helping to balance school and children.
The importance of having a number of things in your life that bring you joy and satisfaction.
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses, but ultimately giving yourself recognition for your suc
The importance of learning over time and remaining positive in the face of criticism.
Motivation for doing work: interacting with students and doing research that can make a difference i
Emphasizes the challenge with saying no, but the importance of learning to do so.
The importance of remaining passionate and remembering that the PhD opens doors.
The importance of defining clear goals, remaining self-confident, and learning to say no.
The importance of allowing yourself the opportunity to change your mind and reconsider your goals.
The importance of knowing what you want and expecting tradeoffs on the path to get it.
Making discoveries and collaborating with others brings satisfaction.
Creating a schedule and meeting an advisor's expectations.
Advises graduate students to take a semester off if they choose to have a child because it is too ch
Explains the role children play in career choices.
Using leisure activities to relieve stress and build friendships.
The satisfaction that comes from working with colleagues and interacting with others.
The decision to get married in graduate school.
The importance of maintaining a balanced lifestyle to alleviate stress.
Addresses personal relationship sacrifices.
The importance of nurturing relationships outside of academia.
Explains the choice to have children in graduate school.
Challenges with being married to a fellow academician and finding faculty positions.
How a flexible schedule as a professor made it possible to have a family and a career.
The importance of evaluating your priorities to create balance and happiness.
Appreciation for advisor's assistance in transitioning to the US.
Emphasizes the joy in working with others and giving back to society.
Chronicles the evolution of a career over time.
Suggestions for how to increase women's participation in science with an emphasis on policy change.
The importance of being open and honest with your advisor.
How a positive advisor challenged his students to think for themselves.
Highlights the obstacles faced when trying to have research reviewed by the advisor and emphasizes t
The importance of having a variety of mentors throughout your graduate experience.
Challenges faced with establishing yourself as an independent researcher separate from an influentia
The importance of asking questions and searching for creative solutions to new problems.
The importance of finding a good advisor and making sure to get everything in writing.
Challenges in confronting the advisor with news of pregnancy.
Experiences with an international advisor.
How to maintain good relationships with colleagues while being motivated to finish the program qu
The importance of giving back to students and making an impact in their future education and care
An Arizona State University project, supported by the National Science Foundation under grants 0634519, 0910384 and 1761278
Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the National Science Foundation. © 2021 CareerWISE. All rights reserved. Privacy | Legal
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