• Learn to recognize gendered communication styles and habits.
• Learn to identify gender stereotypes and expectations in communication.
• Learn to understand the relationship between gender, language, and power.

“The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.”  —Bella Abzug

“Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human.”  —Robin Morgan

Over decades, researchers have demonstrated how gender influences nearly every aspect of living. This module focuses primarily on the social construction of gender and how it is salient for women in STEM. Specifically, it considers how the gendered roles and expectations that society ascribes to women impact the communication process. 

There are also social consequences, for women who do not fit gender stereotypes (Phelan et al., 2008). As a woman in a male-dominated field, gender is an omnipresent and important factor in communication processes. Gender dynamics (including gendered language, gender socialization, and gender stereotyping) shape how messages in communication are both presented and interpreted (see Planning the Message and Expressing Yourself). Stereotypically female styles of interacting, such as communicating with warmth and openness, may be beneficial in some situations; however, research suggests that conforming to gender stereotypes can be damaging when these behaviors are in conflict with expectations for leaders and other role expectations (Eagly, 2007; Catalyst, 2007). There are also social consequences, for women who do not fit gender stereotypes (Phelan et al., 2008). Ultimately, language and communication reflect, maintain, and even create the social roles and power structures that lead to gender inequities. Becoming more aware of how gender dynamics affect communication can help you gain perspective on your experiences and be more effective in attaining the outcomes you want.

Self-test

To me, being a woman:

Differences in styles of interacting contribute to gender dynamics in communication. Despite common notions of difference, women and men are more alike than different on most dimensions (Barnett & Rivers, 2004; Hyde, 2005; Wright, 2006). However, in U.S. culture women are generally socialized to seek or prefer (Tannen, 1990):

• Support (over status)
• Intimacy (over independence)
• Understanding (over advice)
• Feelings (over information)
• Proposals (over demands)
• Compromise (over conflict)

Additionally, women are more likely to demonstrate communication skills such as:

• Displaying empathy
• Listening carefully
• Showing sensitivity to interpersonal differences
• Giving constructive feedback
• Offering support

Overall, what society defines as feminine characteristics is more conducive than masculine  characteristics to making others feel comfortable and building close relationships. In many cases, these characteristics and styles are also highly beneficial in the work environment (O’Neill et al., 2002). In fact, some employee training programs focus on developing the above stereotypically feminine communication skills in employees.

Other stereotypical feminine styles of interacting are less beneficial in the workplace as they can signal that women are less confident and/or capable of being in a leadership position (also see Expressing Yourself, The Impression You Make, and Your Personality and Preferences). Examples include (Lakoff, 1975; Wolfe & Powell, 2009): 

The use of qualifying “hedges” (e.g., “It seems like...” “Maybe we should consider...” “I’m not sure, but...”)

• Being indirect
• Stating information in the form of a question as opposed to a statement
• Being silent

Keep in mind that the actual empirical differences between men and women may be less important than how people respond to these perceived differences. You may find that many people act as though gender differences are fixed and deterministic, even though their rationale for doing so may not be valid.—it may in fact be nothing more than following a gender stereotype.

Stereotypes play a strong role in the gender dynamics of communication. Stereotypes are assumptions and expectations placed on you by others based on your gender or other outwardly visible aspects of your identity. Stereotyping usually occurs without awareness or bad intention: it is generally automatic and unconscious (Banaji & Hardin, 1996; Banaji et al., 2001; Greenwald et al., 2002). Thus, even if you do not demonstrate typically feminine styles of interacting, people still consciously or unconsciously expect you to behave as a woman and interpret your behaviors differently based on these stereotypes. For example, what may look like assertiveness in a man could be interpreted as aggression in a woman. You are especially at risk of being stereotyped by your gender when you are the only—or one of very few—women represented in your department.

Expectations about what it means to be a woman conflict with expectations about what it means to be a good leader and what it takes to get ahead in the workforce. Finding the balance between these types of opposing forces is what effective communication is about in a gendered context.

The implicit message to women is: “be more confident if you want to get ahead! But not too much, it’s not ladylike; people won’t like you.” This is an example of a double bind: a communication dilemma in which an individual receives two or more conflicting messages, with one message canceling out the other. The double bind can prevent the individual from changing her situation because making a change in one area negatively affects another area. Research has suggested that this double bind is especially disadvantageous for women in an interview setting (Phelan et al., 2008).

The point is you are not going to be able to please everyone. Sometimes breaking out of or conforming to stereotypes means developing your own unique styles of communication that are useful to you as an individual (and may not work for everyone else). YOU are the person this all has to work for.

Feminists and sociologists argue that language and communication reflect, maintain, and even create social roles and power structures, including gender inequity (Crawford, 2001; Weatherall, 2002). For example, they argue that despite efforts to reinforce alternatives, the English language tradition of using the terms “man” and “he” to refer to both men and women reflects the position of men in our society as “regular” people, the standard whereby women are the “other”—a “subtype.” Instead of being understood as their own entity, women are then always defined in relation to men and specifically in opposition to them (Du Gay, 2007).

Names and titles send a strong message about power and status. Women are continually and differentially (Benokraitis, 1997) addressed in ways that reflect their perceived or assumed inferior status to men. For example, grown women are commonly addressed as “girl” in the media and in everyday interactions. In academic settings, women professors are still addressed by their first or married names rather than by Dr. or Professor. The use of gendered language is not just limited to face-to-face interactions. In fact, studies have shown that men and women use different language features, functions, and style in written and online communication (Thomson, 2006).

To help combat the use of gendered language in your field, try to use gender-neutral terms in your speech and writing. This shows others in your department that you make a concerted effort to keep sexism out of your field and sets a precedent for how people should treat you. This may include modeling more equitable gender terms for students or colleagues (e.g., using “ombudsperson” instead of “ombudsman”) and reminding your students how you prefer to be addressed. Again, ultimately you teach others how to treat you.

You can prevent negative stereotypes and expectations from becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy by trusting in yourself and your abilities. Remember that whatever you believe about yourself is usually what others will eventually come to believe about you as well.

Banaji, M. R., & Hardin, C. D. (1996). Automatic stereotyping. Psychological Science, 7(3), 136-141. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1996.tb00346.x

Banaji, M. R., Lemm, K. M., & Carpenter, S. J. (2001). The social unconscious. In M. Hewstone & M. Brewer (Series Eds.) & A. Tesser & N. Schwartz (Vol. Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Vol.1. Individual processes (pp. 134–158). Oxford, UK: Blackwell.

Barnett, R. & Rivers, C. (2004). Same difference: How gender myths are hurting our relationships, our children, and our jobs. New York: Basic Books. https://dx.doi.org/10.15365/joce.1004132013

Benokraitis, N.V. (1997). Subtle sexism: current practices and prospects for change. Thousand Oaks, California: Sage Publications.

Burleson, B. R., Kunkel, A. W., Samter, W., & Working, K. J. (1996). Men's and women's evaluations of communication skills in personal relationships: When sex differences make a difference and when they don't. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 13(2), 201-224. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407596132003

Catalyst (2007). The double-bind dilemma for women in leadership: Damned if you do, doomed if you don’t. New York: Catalyst.

Cohen, E. D. (2018). Gendered styles of student-faculty interaction among college students. Social science research, 75, 117-129.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssresearch.2018.06.004

Crawford, M. (2001). Gender and language. In R. K. Unger (Ed.), Handbook of the psychology of women and gender (pp. 228– 244). New York: Wiley.

Du Gay, P. (2007). Organizing Identity: Persons and organizations ‘after theory.’ London: Sage. http://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781446211342

Eagly, A. H. (2007). Female leadership advantage and disadvantage: Resolving the contradictions. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 31(1), 1-12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2007.00326.x

Greenwald, A. G., Banaji, M. R., Rudman, L. A., Farnham, S. D., Nosek, B. A., & Mellott, D. S. (2002). A unified theory of implicit attitudes, stereotypes, self-esteem, and self-concept. Psychological Review, 109(1), 3-25. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.109.1.3

Gunter, R., & Stambach, A. (2005). Differences in men and women scientists' perceptions of workplace climate. Journal of Women and Minorities in Science and Engineering, 11(1). http://dx.doi.org/10.1615/JWomenMinorScienEng.v11.i1.60

Holleran, S. E., Whitehead, J., Schmader, T., & Mehl, M. R. (2011). Talking shop and shooting the breeze: A study of workplace conversation and job disengagement among STEM faculty. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2(1), 65-71. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550610379921

Hyde, J. S. (2005). The gender similarities hypothesis. American Psychologist, 60(6), 581-592. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.60.6.581

Kacewicz, E., Pennebaker, J. W., Davis, M., Jeon, M., & Graesser, A. C. (2014). Pronoun use reflects standings in social hierarchies. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 33(2), 125-143. https://doi.org/10.1177/0261927X13502654

Lakoff, R. T. (1975). Language and woman’s place. New York: Harper & Row. http://www.jstor.org/stable/4166707

Leaper, C., & Robnett, R. D. (2011). Women are more likely than men to use tentative language, aren’t they? A meta-analysis testing for gender differences and moderators. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 35(1), 129-142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684310392728

Maji, S., & Dixit, S. (2020). Exploring self-silencing in workplace relationships: A qualitative study of female software engineers. The Qualitative Report, 25(6), 1505-1525. https://nsuworks.nova.edu/tqr

O'Neill, K. S., Hansen, C. D., & May, G. L. (2002). The effect of gender on the transfer of interpersonal communication skills training to the workplace: Three theoretical frames. Human Resource Development Review, 1(2), 167-185.  https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315583839-14

Phelan, J. E., Moss-Racusin, C. A., & Rudman, L. A. (2008). Competent yet out in the cold: Shifting criteria for hiring reflect backlash toward agentic women. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 32(4), 406-413. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2008.00454.x

Stout, J. G., & Dasgupta, N. (2011). When he doesn’t mean you: Gender-exclusive language as ostracism. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(6), 757-769. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167211406434

Tannen, D. (2007). You just don’t understand: Women and men in conversation. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

Thomson, R. (2006). The effect of topic of discussion on gendered language in computer mediated communication discussion. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 25(2), 167-178. https://doi.org/10.1177/0261927X06286452

Von Hippel, C., Wiryakusuma, C., Bowden, J., Shochet, M. (2011). Stereotype threat and female communication styles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(10), 1312-1324. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167211410439

Weatherall, A. (2002). Gender, language and discourse. Hove England; New York: Routledge.

Wessel, J. L., Hagiwara, N., Ryan, A. M., & Kermond, C. M. (2015). Should women applicants “man up” for traditionally masculine fields? Effectiveness of two verbal identity management strategies. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 39(2), 243-255. https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684314543265

Wolfe, J., & Powell, E. (2009). Biases in interpersonal communication: How engineering students perceive gender typical speech acts in teamwork. Journal of Engineering Education, 98(1), 5-16.  https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2168-9830.2009.tb01001.x

Wright, P. H. (2006). Toward an expanded orientation to the comparative study of women’s and men’s same sex friendships. In K. Dindia & D. J. Canary (Eds.), Sex differences and similarities in communication (2nd edition). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Being Comfortable as a Woman Among Men

Emphasizes positive peer relationships within her cohort.

Ways to Cope with Minor Issues Related to Being a Woman

How to observe others' reactions to subtle comments in order to gauge an appropriate response.

Standing Out as a Woman

An alternative way to approach being the only woman in a given situation.

The Good, the Bad, the "Only"

The pros and cons of being the only woman in a department and the importance of setting boundaries and knowing your own limitations.

Gender Bias in the US

The first realization that being a woman in science was outside the norm.

Oblivion is Bliss

How being unaware of being the only woman was advantageous to program success.

Hidden Differences in Academic Culture (Extended)

Environmental issues faced in academia.

Critical Mass

Captures the annoyance of male colleagues making sexist assumptions and the challenges with conference travel as a female graduate student.