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Understand Yourself: Your Stress Triggers
Learn how stress results from the way you interact with your environment.
Learn to recognize your stress triggers.
“I have worked full time throughout my graduate program. I drive an hour each way, often staying nights. At some point I am bound to burn out.”
“My advisor is one of the only two female faculty in our department. On my first day of graduate school she told me, ‘Women have to work twice as hard as men to get anywhere in this field, so you better get used to it now’ and has piled on the workload ever since.”
If you have felt stressed out in graduate school, you are not alone! In a 2018 national survey, over 67% of graduate student women and 52% of men reported they experienced more than average or tremendous stress within the last 12 months (American College Health Association, 2018). The mental health impacts of recent pandemics have only elevated these numbers (See Mental Health and Delays and Setbacks modules for more)
You experience stress when your personal resources are not adequate to meet the demands you face. When what you expect of yourself or others expect of you exceeds the resilience skills you can apply, you will more than likely feel anxious and discouraged.
Stress represents a difference between the assets you bring to a situation and those that are required. In that sense, stress requires you to change and adapt. Some amount of stress or challenge can motivate you to complete tasks, do your best, stretch, and meet your goals. But when stress levels get too high, your relationships, focus, productivity, self-care, and health can all be affected negatively.
Stress is pervasive (Selye, 1956). Major life stressors like divorce, illness, significant caretaking responsibilities, and dual-career conflicts with a spouse or partner can disrupt your life and be harmful to your physical and mental health. However, the day-to-day accumulation of small and recurrent stressors can have a similarly big effect on your stress level (DeLongis et al., 1982). These daily hassles and repeated stressors, left unchecked, can add up over time to discourage you, diminish your productivity, and interfere with your well-being.
Self-test
Which of the following can be a source of stress?
- A. An upcoming exam or an approaching project deadline
- B. A mid-semester vacation
- C. A friend/family member/loved one who comes for a visit from out of town
- D. All of the above
For many, starting a doctoral program means adjusting to a new locale, finding suitable housing, being separated from family and friends, learning the ropes of grad school, and, of course, having a heavy workload. Then, graduate students cope with an extended and sometimes indeterminate period of research and apprenticeship along with unpredictable financial support and career uncertainty. Additionally, outside of graduate school, students encounter a variety of personal issues that can raise anxiety and complicate or even interfere with academic progress.
For STEM women, graduate school can be a particularly trying time since the environment can be chilly and rife with daily hassles. Below are a few examples of what women report about graduate science and engineering programs that they find stressful:
- Competitive, hierarchical academic culture
- Problems with mentors and/or advisors
- Isolation and marginalization
- Imbalance between graduate work and personal life
- Sexism and gender stereotypes
- Gender and racial microaggressions (See Microaggressions)
- Conflicting work styles and goals with co-workers
- Publication and research productivity pressures
- Financial pressures
Recognize that stress is not simply a function of the environment or immediate situation. Rather, you interact with what is happening in a way that may result in your experiencing stress (Charles et al., 2013).Your personal characteristics influence whether you judge something as stressful and how you respond. For example, you are more likely to experience stress if you:
- Set unreasonably high expectations and are harshly critical of yourself when things do not go as planned (Cho & Hayer, 2020; Cohen et al., 2016).
- Doubt your abilities to cope with the situation at hand (Coping and Self-Efficacy)
- Interpret the situation as threatening to your well-being
- Encounter something or someone that triggers your particular vulnerabilities, core values, or “soft spots”
Below is a chart that represents stress as an interaction between your personal characteristics and the environment:
Demand |
+ |
Your unique characteristics |
+ |
Perception of resources |
= |
Stress level |
Need a job |
+ |
will not settle for anything less than your top choice job |
+ |
don't believe that you have adequate career connections |
= |
high |
Need a job |
+ |
will consider any number of good job options |
+ |
believe you know the right people to get the job you want |
= |
low |
Need a job |
+ |
will settle for any job |
+ |
believe that your career network is small |
= |
moderate |
Self-test
Self Test
Maricella has been feeling overwhelmed lately by her academic demands. She has multiple exams and papers due in the upcoming weeks, and she is under some tight deadlines in her lab. During a conversation with her partner, Maricella became upset when her partner was answering emails on his phone while she was talking to him, which led to an argument. Maricella knows that stress likely contributed to the conflict.
Among the following options, what would be the best for helping her deal with her stress effectively?
- A. Enter into a conversation with her partner about how his being on the phone while talking to her was upsetting.
- B. Release her feelings by allowing herself to become angry with her partner.
- C. Examine the situation to see how it is similar to other situations in which she feels stressed or frustrated.
- D. Do nothing. Let the situation “calm down” before taking further action.
Have you ever wondered why even the smallest thing can set you off? There are two primary reasons why this happens. First, the small thing may simply be the last in a chain of unpleasant events or microstressors that combine to form the “big bang.” Think of the proverbial “straw that breaks the camel’s back.”
But there is another reason that something seemingly insignificant can evoke your strong response. It has to do with signaling danger or hopelessness. Here are some examples:
- A labmate scowls at you across the table. Perhaps this triggers your concerns about ever fitting in with the others in the field.
- Your computer crashes. Perhaps this reminds you that your department isn't maintaining the equipment necessary for you to do your work.
- It has been two weeks since your research advisor has given you feedback on your latest draft. Perhaps you worry that you are not meeting his expectations.
- Someone in the program misgenders you again. Perhaps you feel distressed about the climate in your program.
- You run out of gas on the way home. Perhaps this convinces you it's too hard to meet your lab responsibilities and also be home for your daughter’s play.
- Your partner loses their job. Perhaps you panic thinking you won’t have enough money to finish your degree program.
- A supervisor offers you a ride. Perhaps this triggers memories of a traumatic incident.
Events or interactions are most likely to trigger stress if they touch on areas that are particularly important to you (Santiago, Bernstein & Gard, 1995). For example, if high levels of achievement are really important to you, then you are more prone to appraising a paper rejection or poor grade as threatening.
Similarly, for women who generally place strong value on affiliation, a spat with a co-worker will trigger more stress than for someone for whom relationships are less important. Becoming aware of your central issues might help you understand better what sets you off.
It’s important to be aware of your stress triggers so that you can assess whether your perceptions and reactions are commensurate with the situation. Similarly, for the key relationships in your academic and personal life, it’s helpful to keep their stress triggers in mind as you interact with them
Prolonged stress can lead to physical ailments such as ulcers, heart disease, high blood pressure, and insomnia. In survey after survey, a majority of respondents report that stress has an impact on their emotional well-being and physical health and contributes to their levels of irritability and anger.
Stress negatively impacts personal relationships, causes people to be more likely to engage in unhealthy behavior, and contributes to lower productivity. Additionally, socioeconomic and racial disparities in exposure to stressors account for differences in mental and physical health consequences. Stress is not just unpleasant; it can impact your health and life in major and irreversible ways.
Stress is common in graduate school, and experiencing stress does not suggest that you are weak or don’t belong in your program. Keep in mind that your response to stress does not derive from the source of the stress but is instead a function of how you perceive and respond to difficulties and pressures. Individual differences in interpreting and responding to stress explain why two people in the same environment can experience it very differently. Expanding your coping resources will help you to resist being overwhelmed by the demands of graduate school.
CareerWISE Tips on Managing Stress Triggers
When you experience stress, you have options. You can change your expectations and anxiety-provoking situations. For example,
- Trade “perfect” for “good enough.”
- Rather than cooking elaborate meals, consider quick and healthy alternatives.
- Do not expect the house to be pristine while you are in graduate school. If your partner complains, ask them to help out.
- Consider whether insisting on all A’s in your classes will really impact your future career.
- Rearrange your spending habits so you spend more on time-saving conveniences, such as a nearby parking spot or an apartment close to campus.
- Take fewer classes during the year and enroll in the summer term.
- Set up automatic bill payment.
- Next semester, be realistic about what you can actually take on. Make sure you are scheduling in time for yourself.
- Learn to say no.
You can also change other ways you think about and react emotionally to what you find stressful. You will find more useful information on this in the How You Think and Your Emotional Styles modules.
American College Health Association. (2018). American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment II: Graduate and Professional Students Reference Group Executive Summary. Spring 2018. Silver Spring,MD: https://www.acha.org/documents/ncha/NCHA-II_Spring_2018_Graduate_Refere…
American Psychological Association, APA Working Group on Stress and Health Disparities. (2017). Stress and health disparities: Contexts, mechanisms, and interventions among racial/ethnic minority and low-socioeconomic status populations. https://www.apa.org/pi/health-disparities/resources/stress-report.pdf&n…;
Amirkhan, J. H., Landa, I., & Huff, S. (2018). Seeking signs of stress overload: Symptoms and behaviors. International Journal of Stress Management, 25(3), 301–311. https://doi.org/10.1037/str0000066
Bedewy, D., & Gabriel, A. (2015). Examining perceptions of academic stress and its sources among university students: The Perception of Academic Stress Scale. Health Psychology Open. https://doi.org/10.1177/2055102915596714
Brunsma, D. L., Embrick, D. G., & Shin, J. H. (2017). Graduate students of color: Race, racism, and mentoring in the white waters of academia. Sociology of Race and Ethnicity, 3(1), 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1177/2332649216681565
Cohen, S., Gianaros, P. J., & Manuck, S. B. (2016). A stage model of stress and disease. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(4), 456-463. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691616646305
Charles, S. T., Piazza, J. R., Mogle, J., Sliwinski, M. J., & Almeida, D. M. (2013). The wear and tear of daily stressors on mental health. Psychological Science, 24(5), 733-741. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612462222
Cho, S., & Hayter, C. S. (2020). Under pressure: A systematic review of stress and its impact among graduate students. Science and Public Policy. https://doi.org/10.1093/scipol/scaa053
Crum, A. J., Akinola, M., Martin, A., & Fath, S. (2017). The role of stress mindset in shaping cognitive, emotional, and physiological responses to challenging and threatening stress. Anxiety, Stress, & Coping, 30(4), 379-395. https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2016.1275585
DeLongis, A., Coyne, J. C., Dakof, G., Folkman, S., & Lazarus, R. S. (1982). Relationship of daily hassles, uplifts, and major life events to health status. Health Psychology, 1(2), 119-136. https://doi.org/10.1037/0278-6133.1.2.119
El-Alayli, A., Hansen-Brown, A. A., & Ceynar, M. (2018). Dancing backwards in high heels: Female professors experience more work demands and special favor requests, particularly from academically entitled students. Sex Roles, 79(3), 136-150. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-017-0872-6
Jaremka, L. M., Ackerman, J. M., Gawronski, B., Rule, N. O., Sweeny, K., Tropp, L. R., Metz, M. A., Molina, L., Ryan, W. S., & Vick, S. B. (2020). Common academic experiences no one talks about: repeated rejection, impostor syndrome, and burnout. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(3), 519–543. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619898848
Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., Renna, M. E., Shrout, M. R., & Madison, A. A. (2020). Stress reactivity: What pushes us higher, faster, and longer—and why it matters. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 29(5), 492-498. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721420949521
Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. New York: Springer.
Luhmann, M., Fassbender, I., Alcock, M., & Haehner, P. (2020). A dimensional taxonomy of perceived characteristics of major life events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000291
McGee, E., Griffith, D., & Houston, S. (2019). "I know I have to work twice as hard and hope that makes me good enough": Exploring the stress and strain of black doctoral students in engineering and computing. Teachers College Record, 121(6). https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1204371
Moate, R. M., Gnilka, P. B., West, E. M., & Rice, K. G. (2019). Doctoral student perfectionism and emotional well-being. Measurement and Evaluation in Counseling and Development, 52(3), 145-155. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481756.2018.1547619
Santiago-Rivera, A. L., & Bernstein, B. L. (1996). Affiliation, achievement and life events: Contributors to stress appraisals in college men and women. Personality and Individual Differences, 21(3), 411-419. https://doi.org/10.1016/0191-8869(96)00076-1
Santiago-Rivera, A. L., Bernstein, B. L., & Gard, T. L. (1995). The importance of achievement and the appraisal of stressful events as predictors of coping. Journal of College Student Development, 36(4), 374–383.
Selye, H. (1956). The stress of life. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Serido, J., Almeida, D., Worthington, E. (2004). Chronic stressors & daily hassles: Unique and interactive relationships with psychological distress. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 45(1), 17–33. https://doi.org/10.1177/002214650404500102
Wilkins-Yel, K. G., Bekki, J.M., Arnold, A.C., Bernstein, B. L., Coley, C.E., Natarajan, M. W., & Randall, A.K. (2021). Understanding the impact of personal challenges and advisor support on STEM persistence among graduate Women of Color. Journal of Diversity in Higher Education . Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/dhe0000236
Thwarting Thoughts of Quitting
The importance of goal setting and using others' experiences to make strong choices about your own path
How to negotiate a schedule for raising a family and overcoming setbacks in a new career
Non-Progress Is Still Progress
The importance of peer relationships and the learning process that takes place despite concrete outcomes
How Do You Know When You're Ready?
The importance of learning from failed experiments
The importance of evaluating your priorities to create balance and happiness
Highlights the obstacles faced when trying to have research reviewed by the advisor and emphasizes the steps necessary to make adequate progress in the program
Advice for balancing research and fun in graduate school
To Post-Doc or Not to Post-Doc
When it's time to graduate and when it's important to start learning on the job
The importance of giving yourself credit and remembering why you are doing what you're doing
Proactive Approach and Adapting Environments
How to adapt experimental methods to match a lifestyle
Identify The Issue Side Menu
- Overview
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- Challenges Faced by Women of Color
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Explains that satisfaction comes from working with students and the opportunity to make new disco
Explains that satisfaction comes from working with students and the opportunity to make new disco
The importance of learning from mistakes and persisting despite setbacks.
The importance of learning from your effort, regardless of the outcome.
Advice on how to seek out support in graduate school and how to bounce back from setbacks.
Shares the excitement that comes from collaborating with others to make new discoveries.
Elaborates on the standard practice of science despite cultural differences.
Strategies for negotiating as a faculty member.
When it's time to graduate and when it's important to start learning on the job.
Highlights the transition into graduate level science where the answers aren't known.
The importance of goal setting and using others' experiences to make strong choices about your own p
Advice for balancing research and fun in graduate school.
Advice for students: stay focused, ask questions, and remain open-minded when working with others.
How to adapt experimental methods to match a lifestyle.
How to negotiate a schedule for raising a family and overcoming setbacks in a new career.
The importance of giving yourself credit and remembering why you are doing what you're doing.
The importance of peer relationships and the learning process that takes place despite concrete outc
Working with graduate students is a rewarding aspect of being a faculty member.
Advice for graduate students on how to maintain their confidence, courage, and dignity.
Emphasizes peer relationships and departmental climate.
How to handle being accused of having an affair with the advisor.
Explains an interdisciplinary branch of physics and the passion for research, service, and teaching.
Teaching as the impetus for work.
Discusses necessary precautions to take as a female student working late nights on campus.
Discusses necessary precautions to take as a female student working late nights on campus.
Being accused of cheating and regrets about not being more assertive.
Being accused of cheating and regrets about not being more assertive.
The importance of self-authorship and using graduate school as a process for self-definition.
Reminder that support can be found in unexpected places.
Urges female graduate students to persist in the field of mathematics because the field needs divers
How being unaware of being the only woman was advantageous to program success.
Alternatives to departmental isolation and the importance of networking.
Environmental issues faced in academia.
The importance of first impressions in choosing a graduate program.
Satisfaction comes from interacting with intelligent people across cultures.
Adjusting physical appearance to fit in with peers.
The importance of remembering that graduate school is only one part of a larger career.
Describes an incident of receiving a lower grade than a man for similar work.
The opportunity for freedom, growth, and collaboration as a faculty member.
How to survive the aftermath of a sexual harassment incident.
Highlights the gendered assumptions encountered as a faculty member.
The Importance of Having Positive Working Relationships: A Case Study
An alternative way to approach being the only woman in a given situation.
Contributions to the field are reflected through choices.
The importance of sharing stories of sexual harassment with others to gain support.
The importance of finding the right advisor to support your research goals.
How to handle being accused of having an affair with the advisor.
Explains when to confront a problem and when it may be better to maneuver around it.
How to be upfront, direct, and assertive when confronting instances of sexual harassment.
Highlights the universal customs of science.
Class performance builds confidence to remain in program.
Captures the annoyance of male colleagues making sexist assumptions and the challenges with conferen
The importance of recognizing the progress that has been made by women in science fields.
Advice for accomplishing your academic goals without making unnecessary compromises.
Emphasizes the challenge with saying no, but the importance of learning to do so.
How to make friends with colleagues to encourage a supportive environment.
Underscores the challenges that come from being the only woman in an academic department and gives s
Highlights an experience in which peers were not only colleagues, but also friends.
How the physical space in a laboratory allowed for collaboration among colleagues.
The importance of a good leader in setting standards for diversity, climate, and tenure policies.
How to observe others' reactions to subtle comments in order to gauge an appropriate response.
Urges students not to get wrapped into issues that do not directly involve them.
Departmental reactions to the choice to have children.
How to refute sexist comments and challenge gendered assumptions.
The importance of sharing stories of sexual harassment with others and realizing that you are not al
Confronting a male colleague with contradictory findings at a conference.
How colleagues can assist in making the transition into graduate life easier by sharing information
Captures the small but noticeable annoyances that come with being the only woman.
The importance of picking your battles to avoid unfair labeling.
Reminder that it is not necessary to feel comfortable socially to do good science.
Gender stereotypes faced in getting into graduate school and conducting research.
How to seek support from administrators outside the department when dealing with departmental sexism
The first realization that being a woman in science was outside the norm.
Challenges of being international and female, particularly with regards to an academic career and th
Suggestions for how to deal with sexist comments.
Playing a variety of roles as the only woman in the department.
The process of establishing yourself in the same department as your spouse.
Emphasizes positive peer relationships within her cohort.
The challenges of working in male-dominated academic environments and the negative stereotypes assoc
The feasibility of pursuing a family and science.
The importance of hearing other people's stories.
The importance of understanding priorities and allocating resources accordingly.
Advises how to keep family informed about research goals and progression from student to faculty mem
Explains some of the setbacks in dating relationships.
Advises students to continue to pursue their education because the payoff is self-respect.
The importance of believing in yourself, admitting your mistakes, and continuing to do what you love
How to accept non-traditional relationships and lifestyles in academia.
Notes the challenges of a dual career marriage and the obstacles in fighting for tenure and balancin
The process of overcoming setbacks related to career options and personal relationships.
How to balance motherhood responsibilities in graduate school.
The importance of supportive peer relationships.
Being married in graduate school and having children as a faculty member.
Advisor's experiences encourage well-informed career decisions.
The importance of a supportive network of colleagues.
Doing something useful to make a difference and how to appreciate a happy, supportive work environme
Taking time off before pursuing her PhD.
How a supportive department and a modified teaching schedule allowed for maternity leave.
How to sustain taking time off and pursuing the PhD later in life.
Advises how to keep family informed about research goals and progression from student to faculty mem
The importance of a supportive extended family in helping to balance school and children.
The importance of having a number of things in your life that bring you joy and satisfaction.
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses, but ultimately giving yourself recognition for your suc
The importance of learning over time and remaining positive in the face of criticism.
Motivation for doing work: interacting with students and doing research that can make a difference i
Emphasizes the challenge with saying no, but the importance of learning to do so.
The importance of remaining passionate and remembering that the PhD opens doors.
The importance of defining clear goals, remaining self-confident, and learning to say no.
The importance of allowing yourself the opportunity to change your mind and reconsider your goals.
The importance of knowing what you want and expecting tradeoffs on the path to get it.
Making discoveries and collaborating with others brings satisfaction.
Creating a schedule and meeting an advisor's expectations.
Advises graduate students to take a semester off if they choose to have a child because it is too ch
Explains the role children play in career choices.
Using leisure activities to relieve stress and build friendships.
The satisfaction that comes from working with colleagues and interacting with others.
The decision to get married in graduate school.
The importance of maintaining a balanced lifestyle to alleviate stress.
Addresses personal relationship sacrifices.
The importance of nurturing relationships outside of academia.
Explains the choice to have children in graduate school.
Challenges with being married to a fellow academician and finding faculty positions.
How a flexible schedule as a professor made it possible to have a family and a career.
The importance of evaluating your priorities to create balance and happiness.
Appreciation for advisor's assistance in transitioning to the US.
Emphasizes the joy in working with others and giving back to society.
Chronicles the evolution of a career over time.
Suggestions for how to increase women's participation in science with an emphasis on policy change.
The importance of being open and honest with your advisor.
How a positive advisor challenged his students to think for themselves.
Highlights the obstacles faced when trying to have research reviewed by the advisor and emphasizes t
The importance of having a variety of mentors throughout your graduate experience.
Challenges faced with establishing yourself as an independent researcher separate from an influentia
The importance of asking questions and searching for creative solutions to new problems.
The importance of finding a good advisor and making sure to get everything in writing.
Challenges in confronting the advisor with news of pregnancy.
Experiences with an international advisor.
How to maintain good relationships with colleagues while being motivated to finish the program qu
The importance of giving back to students and making an impact in their future education and care
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